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            BestRewardAnavalofficerfelloverboard.Hewasrescuedbyadeckhand.Theofficeraskedhowhecouldrewardhim."Thebestway,sir,"saidthedeckhand,"istosaynothingabouti...
            GoodNewsAndBadNews"There'sgoodnewsandbadnews,"thedivorcelawyertoldhisclient."Icouldsureusesomegoodnews,"sighedtheclient."What'sit?""Yourwifeisn'tdeman...
            PerfectMatchAwealthymatronissoproudofavaluableantiquevasethatshedecidestohaveherbedroompaintedthesamecolorasthevase.Severalpainterstrytomatchtheshade,...
            PatienceAngler:You'vebeenwatchingmeforthreehoursnow.Whydon'tyoutryyourself?Onlooker:Ihaven'tgotthepatience.耐性  垂钓者:你已经盯着看了三个小时了,你干嘛不自己亲自钓呢?  旁观者:我没那耐性...
            TheWorld'sGreatestSwordsmanAtanexhibitionoftheworld'sbestswordsman,thethird-placefencertookthestage.Aflywasreleased,andwithanarcofhisswordhecuttheflyi...
            OnlyOnceAnoviceliontamerwasbeinginterviewed."Iunderstandyourfatherwasalsoaliontamer,"thereporterqueried."Yes,hewas,"themanreplied."Doyouactuallyputyou...
            StarstruckIhavebeenstarstrucksinceIwasalittlegirl,soIwasdelightedandpracticallyspeechlessnotlongagowhenIspottedtheactorErnestBorgninewalkinginmydirect...
            KeeptheChangeOneswelteringday,Iwasscoopingicecreamintoconesandtoldmyfourchildrentheycould"buy"aconefrommeforahug.Almostimmediately,thekidslineduptomak...
            PersistanceReturningfromagolfouting,myhusbandwasgreetedatthedoorbySara,ourfour-year-olddaughter."Daddy,whowonthegolfgame?YouorUncleRichie?""UncleRichi...
            ImitationAschoolboywenthomewithapaininhisstomach."Well,sitdownandeatyourtea,"saidhismother."Yourstomach'shurtingbecauseit'sempty.It'llbeallrightwhenyo...
            BedtimePrayersJuliewassayingherbedtimeprayers."PleaseGod,"shesaid,"makeNaplesthecapitalofItaly.MakeNaplesthecapitalofItaly."Hermotherinterruptedandsai...
            I'mGladASunday-schoolteacherwastellingherpupilstheimportanceofmakingothersglad."Now,children,"shesaid,"hasanyoneofyouevermadesomeoneelseglad?""Please,...
            ITaughttheTeacherMotheraskedherlittleboy,"Darling,whatdidtheteacherteachyoutoday?""Nothing,Mum,"answeredthesonproundly,"instead,sheaskedmehowmuchonepl...
            ABabySisterNurse:Don'tyoulikeyournewbabysister,Johnnie?Johnnie:She'sallright,butIwishshehadbeenaboy.WillieSmithhadgotanewsister,andnowhe'llthinkI'mtry...
            ThingsHaveBeenOkayAyoungcouplewerebecominganxiousabouttheirfour-year-oldson,whohadnotyettalked.Theytookhimtospecialists,butthedoctorsfoundnothingwrong...
            MillionaireCEO:"Mywifemadeamillionaireoutofme."Assistant:"Whatwereyoubefore?"CEO:"amultimillionaire."百万富翁  主管人:我妻子使我成为百万富翁。  助 手:以前你是什么?  主管人:千万富翁。
            ATriptoDisneyOnatriptoDisneyWorldinFlorida,myhusbandandIadnourtwochildrendevotedourselveswholeheartedlytothewondersofthisattraction.Afterthreeexhausti...
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            Twin Lobsters
            TwinLobstersOnceIhadachievedsuccessasanentertainer,IwantedtoimpressmyMom.IbroughthertoLasVegasfordinneratCaesar'sPalace.Amongotheritems,themenulisted"...
            AnOldCouple'sQuarrelAcoupleofcodgersgotintoaquarrelandcamebeforethelocalmagistrate.Theloser,turningtohisopponentinacombativeframeofmind,cried:"I'lllaw...
            PrepareYourselfAstoryaroundcampushasittahtastudentoncesentatelegramtohisparentsreading:"Mom-flunkedallcourses.Kickedoutofschool.PreparePop."Twodayslat...
            Keys?Kiss?AfriendofminewasgivinganEnglishlessontoaclassofadultwhohadrecentlycometoliveintheUnitedStates.Afterplacingquiteanumberofeverydayobjectsonata...
            Part-timeJobWhenmysonwasahign-schoolsophomore,hegotapart-timejobsackinggroceriesatasupermarket.Hecamehomeallsmiles."Howwasyourfirstday?"Iasked."Itwasg...
            FlunkingMathMyson,whomadethedean'slistinhisfreshmanyearatBallStateUniversityinMuncie,Ind.,calledhomeafewweeksafterstartinghissophomoreyearasapsycholog...
            Difference"Icanalwaystellagraduateclassfromanundergraduateclass,"observedtheinstructorinoneofmygraduateengineeringcoursesatCaliforniaStateUniversityin...
            VirtueManyyearsafterreceivingmygraduatedegree,IreturnedtotheStateUniversityofNewYorkatBinghamtonasafacultymember.Onedayinacrowdedelevator,someoneremar...
            PlagiarismAfriendofminewhoteachsEuropeanhistoryatWashingtonUniversityinSt.Louistellaboutthetimehespottedaplagiarizedtermpaper.Hesummonedthestudenttohi...
            ClassandAssProfessorLaurieofGlasgowputhisnoticeonhisdoor:"ProfessorLauriewillnotmeethisclassestoday."Astudent,afterreadingthenotice,rubbedoutthe"c".La...
            IDon'tKnowHerAcouplewalkingintheparknoticedayoungmanandwomansittingonabench,passionatelykissing."Whydon'tyoudothat?"saidthewife."Honey,"repliedherhusb...
            TheSameServiceAmanwhohadbeenmarriedfortenyearswasconsultingamarriagecounselor."WhenIwasfirstmarried,Iwasveryhappy.I'dcomehomefromaharddaydownattheshop...
            ADissoluteHusbandWhataworldofpathosinthis:Abarrenroom,illkemptchildren,awornoutpatientwife,adissolutehusband,andweak.“Mary,yououghttohavemarried...
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